He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
