i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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