yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize