I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
