Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
