I just saw a hot homeless man
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
