she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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