i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
