I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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