There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had to cum in my sink.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
