I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
