rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
