shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
