Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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