what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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