why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
