you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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