Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
