do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
