they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
