I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
