just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
