It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
