Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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