Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize