he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Are we still banned from the library?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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