Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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