i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize