She's JV to your varsity
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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