I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
