she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
