but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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