um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
