Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
