Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
