i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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