At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
