Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
