Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize