I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
