don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
