She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
