Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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