so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
