he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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