Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
