I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
