oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize