I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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