HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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