he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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