my soul wont recognize me after tonight
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
