how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
