pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
