Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
