You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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