You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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