I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize