All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
