I think I died a long time ago.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
