She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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