if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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