This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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