how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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