Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
