eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
