you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
