is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
