If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
