i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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