from now on my penis is your penis
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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