3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Randomize
