Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
