Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize