I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
