He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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