Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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