is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
