Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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