apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
