New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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